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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Paris Hilton's Republican Family Values

Carl Karcher has always been a big family values guy, famous for backing ultra-right wing causes such as California's Prop 6, which would've made it illegal for any California public school to hire gay teachers (to which he donated $1 million) and the Right to Life League, a group that calls for a ban on all abortions.

Well nothing says "family values" to me like a semi-pro porn star soaped up and squatting on a Bentley. Coming on the heels of that creepy "fetuses are people too" spot, the new Carl's Junior Paris Hilton ad plays to all the most lurid and tacky right-wing women-are-all-dirty-whores fantasies and perpetuates the notion that they are, in fact, base irresponsible creatures who cannot be trusted with dominion over their own bodies. With pants around ankles the faithful cheer for the fundamentalist wrecking crew who would fashion some Margaret Atwood dystopia that saves young Paris from herself, where she can just do her job and breed, hopefully with an osteopath from Akron named Herb whose only other joy in life is a peerless karaoke rendition of Panama.

Fifty bucks says none of the should-be-on-thorazine-but-aren't outfits currently at Defcon 3 over this thing ever mention Karcher's name.