Thursday, May 12, 2005
I for one am delighted that the Bolton side show has proceeded to the floor of the Senate. Larry Flynt's credentials as a smut peddler are impeccable, and if he says Disco Bolton is a whore-mongering perv of O'Reillian proportions I say well, Larry knows his stuff, who am I to argue, it is now the solemn duty of the United States Senate to investigate these allegations.
Larry Flynt would be the most exciting wheelchair presence on the floor of the Senate since Charles Ruff. He would also provide much-needed relief to the cable news outlets who are bruised and beaten this week after having been suckered once again into 24/7 coverage of a story with no payoff -- first by a pop-eyed racist klepto with fake knockers who ditched her abstinence-happy groom at the altar, and now by a national security crisis perpetrated by Wrongway Feldman.
Larry. America needs you, man.
Update: Wolcott also revisits the Plato's Retreat era with recollections of "an entire lost realm of chest hair, gold medallions, platform shoes, bellbottoms, rubber mats, frizzy Afros on white people, and the birth of porn video," and notes that "The United States needs to attract allies, not drive them away with an unfortunate display of satyriasis." All hail.