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Monday, September 12, 2005

Duct Tape Dave to the Rescue

Drownie we hardly knew ye.

He's gone. Handed in his resignation today. Nobody thought to tell Preznit Endless Summer, though.

Somebody needs to teach him how to use Google News.

Q Can you tell us, have you accepted the resignation of Michael Brown, or have you heard about it?

THE PRESIDENT: I haven't -- no, I have not talked to Michael Brown -- or Mike Chertoff; that's who I'd talk to. As you know, I've been working. And when I get on Air Force One, I will call back to Washington. But I've been on the move.

Q Our understanding is he has resigned, he's made a statement. Would that be appropriate --

THE PRESIDENT: I haven't talked to Mike Chertoff yet, and that's what I intend to do when I get on the plane. You know, I -- you probably -- maybe you know something I don't know, but as you know, we've been working, and I haven't had a chance to get on the phone.
Doin' the Presidentin' thing, you know. Couldn't take the time. Gotta git his pitcher made. Take him a nap.

So how exactly did he name Drownie's replacement, David Paulison, today?

Maybe Cheney was busy doin' the Presidentin' agin.

And where, exactly, have we seen Paulison before? Why, he's the father of the modern Duct Tape movement. Remember this pearl of wisdom from 2003, which caused the run on Home Depots everywhere?
In his advisory, Paulison recommended that households have on hand three days worth of water and food; an emergency supply kit for both home and automobile; radios with extra batteries; and plastic sheeting and duct tape to seal windows and doors.
Curiously I feel no better.

Update: Mark Kleiman:
I asked a friend who understands this Administration much better than I do why on earth they decided to fire Michael Brown in two stages, thus giving the story two news cycles.

His answer was dazzlingly simple: Karl Rove, who was always the brains of the operation, is so worried about whether he's about to be indicted that he's not at the top of his game. "Is there any way a Karl Rove not facing prison time would have had the President fly over the disaster area and look down at it? I don't think so."
See Skippy? I'm not the only one.