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Monday, February 20, 2006

Love and a Hot Flash

The unwilling taxpayers regularly spend a quarter of a million dollars to orchestrate one of Commander Codpiece's military image photos; likewise Dick Cheney has been weirdly cast as the big bwana hunter, father figure of the clan. Simple but absurd archetypes when you consider the individuals involved, but the GOP spares no expense (ours) to perpetuate them.

I understand that big, fat drunken tame bird shooting sissy boy Dick Cheney took a real whipping in the image department when he spun around and shot an old man in the face, but you have to wonder what they are thinking when they send out hydra-headed hags like Lucianne Goldberg, Kate O'Beirne and Mary Matalin to prop up his image (if precious little else) in the media.

Do you really want Ole 60 Grit giving testimony to your manhood? What exactly does it say when a shriveled old fishwife as house-hauntingly ugly as Lucianne Goldberg swoons about kissing you? And Mary Matalin -- Jeebus. All she needed was a Chesterfield clenched between her teeth and some cheap, rocky coke dangling from her nosehairs to really complete the effect on Meet the Press yesterday.

Frankly I am willing to concede that yes, these women do lust after Dick Cheney. The question is -- why would he want anyone to know?