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Saturday, February 18, 2006

Late Nite FDL: Dickfest Semifinals, Night 3

Things are really heating up in this, the third night of the Dickfest semifinals. I've been noticing that people have been taking choice lines and rhymes from the entries and posting them around the blogosphere, which is fabulous. These fine poems deserve to be read far and wide. They bring every bit of honor upon to the Veep that he lends to the office.

Hope everybody caught Bill Maher last night, who is providing our grand prize material -- a copy of his book and a signed poster. So remember to vote by number and only once, the top three from each semifinal will move into the final round.
Said Dick to the rest of the crew,
I like hunting these peasants don't you? And imagining the poor on his foyer, he spun round and bagged an old lawyer. (201)

Is that a bird or is that a face I see?
Why is it they look the same to me?
Lest I be accused of being a hesitator.
I'll just shoot first and ask questions later. (202)

A manly man like Dick would surely
Not shoot his wad off prematurely. (203)

Cheney's got a gun....
Cheney's got a gun....
A long days' just begun
Fox News is the place to run (204)

torture some brown ones
ain't no disgrace
eat the farmed meat
shoot me some face (205)

And then forgot to tell the creep
That there's a maxim one must keep:
Don't ever, ever shoot the peop-le. (206)

Bushes are dumb,
Cheneys are sick,
But how could u shoot a poor man
you dumb Dick? (207)

Down in Dixie he had some Wiskey
quail in the bush, we may never know
Zocor, Plavix, Viox, coctail
Halliburton, Plame, WMD, Guantanamo
Remember the Alamo! (208)

Panderer, flatterer, hypocrite and a bad shot.
Satan and his architects are designing the new multi-story Cheney Ring, non-stop.
Lustful, wrathful, greedy and a glutton.
Big Time smiles as he finagles a no-bid contract in Hell for Halliburton. (209)

Dicklet, Prince of Texas
Behind the arras the old fool clucked.
The heir to the throne cried, "Now you're fucked!"
Then, "Damn!" he said. "Tis not the king!"
To catch Dicklet's conscience there is no thing. (210)

memo to Scooter:
you're next. (212)

When Dickie starts to get all blood-lusted
Everyone knows he shouldn’t be trusted
When he looked over his shoulder he knew
Harry had been raised domestically, too (213)

Shotguns and lawyers, Prime Minister Cheney
My tiresome subjects shall never arraign me
For we framed and hung a girl's blue dress
Done and burned Whit's blood-stained vest (214)

go take a bath
in a tub well filled
with the blood you spilled (215)

Bird News Daily: From an undisclosed location
The lone survivor of a bird massacre,
Mr. Quail, with a beebee still in his heart
Leaks the identity of the responsible drunk to Judith Miller (216)

"Executive Privilege"
"Shot an old man in the face"?
I expressed myself rather forcefully,
felt better after I had done it. (217)

Tell a lie, tell a lie, tell a lie onward, into the public domain, rode the sick pundits
And was there a man dismayed? Though they knew Cheney had drunkenly blundered?
Their’s was not to make reply, their’s was not wonder why, their’s was but to spin and lie
About Plame or the shooting, they spin while Bush plunders (218)

A Texas quail hunt.
An errant shot, then silence.
Fuck Yourself, public. (219)

Quail hunt, Harry shot.
Tell no one. Say not a word.
Good to be vice-King. (220)

Cheney shoots. Man down.
Drinking? Timeline? Cover up?
Ask, and you're "loony." (221)

Cheney. AKA
Darth. Go Fuck Yourself. Shooter.
Penguin. Big Time. Dick. (222)

sane, he? (223)

that man is like a god,
or as near to one as any republican can say;
that man, who blames you for standing in the way,
when he shoots at the setting sun. (224)

He who shoots and hides away
Lives to kill another day
Beware! (225)

My dick, my gun, the bombs that I control,
but who is left for me to fight? They run and hide in holes.
Let it be known that I have just begun,
to fuck, to shoot, to bomb to kingdom come. (226)

Hickory dickory dock.
The mouse ran up the clock.
Dick Cheney shot a man in the face. (227)

i know why the caged bird sings.
the shot was sprayed another way,
she lives to sing another day. (228)

He's down
Blood like a fountain
A tragedy here
at BrokeDick Mountain (229)

A Friends Face Shootin
Americans I'm Screwin
Iraqs in Ruins
I'm Dick Cheney, Bitch (230)

Hail the Quail set free
Feathers fly a bird dies
Then drunk in bloody bath
Make a pack of lies (231)

North, South, East, & West
Points his gun at all of US
Dick shoots himself best. (232)

Sunny, with darkness encroaching
Quoth the rancher regarding that day
Dick's aim was the last flushed-out covey
He said Harry just got in the way. (233)

Dick Cheney
All Dick, no balls (234)

pheasants and quail and bob-o-link too
hope for a season
to hunt just you (235)

said dick to his secret security: "More beer! It's only 1:30!"
quail, duck or pheasant, our veep twas ne'er hesitant,
"Shit! Waddaya mean it's not the season on peasants?"
..dying democracy just isn't purdy. (236)

Stop the car!
Grab my gun!
Lawyer huntin's
Manly fun. (237)

They came from Wyoming and Texas, addicted to power and drink;
They bullied and lied, they tortured and spied till most folks were too scared to blink;
But when Scowl shot a hunter he thought was a bird and Swag let New Orleans drown,
Folks finally saw what these guys really were: a crusty old coot and a clown. (238)

If you can point your gun where wise men wouldn't
And shoot before you've noticed everyone,
You'll do a thing that all men know you shouldn't,
And, which is more, you'll be a dick, my son. (239)

Go fuck yourself
You sad old prick
Methinks your name
Is your only dick. (240)

While looking for birds
Big Dick he gave chase
But he shot one old lawyer
right in the face! (241)

Got an orange vest and a twenty eight,
I'm a quail hunter, I look great,
A great quail hunter, bird of prey,
Go ahead Harry, make my day. (242)

I am the mighty Dick- the Dick who rules all Dicks.
No Dick shall be placed before me.
He who dares to step into the Dicks path.
Will feel the fury of his mighty rod! (243)

Not the Biggest Donor
That We ever had
So shot him down in Texas
Out west of Baghdad (244)

So I shot a quail in Texas
Just to watch it die
but I bagged a Texas Lawyer
'cause I was H.U.I. (245)

He wondered if his shot did miss
As he was ogleing the Swiss
Did the V-P's conscience him did prick,
as it noted "I think you've got a Harry, Dick"? (246)

How will the Dick survive
Shot an old man who refused to die
Hoping the world swallows one more lie
How will the Dick survive (247)

You shot Harry in the face
A bloody gaffe, I'm thinking
"The lies! The shills, What political thrills!"
But Dick, are you still drinking? (248)

That fearsome hunt- oh, be certain
Shall never be forgot!
For Whittington's chest and face are hurtin',
After Dick took aim and shot. (249)

Fuck Ari, Peggy, Marlin
and cocksucking, pussyeatin' prankstas
got Matalin & my homeys @ Fox,
DAMN, it feels good t/b a gangsta (250)

everybody run,
Big Time's gotta gun,
now everybody swallow,
Brit's soft balls soon to follow (251)

An arrogant V. P. by the name of Cheney,
Shot a lawyer friend with an excuse quite lamey.
The only good that might ensue?
Is if the country wakes up and gives THIS tricky dicky his due. (252)

Little lead pellets
Fly to man-bird
At sunset
I had a bad day (253)

There once was a Veep from Halliburton
Who knew that his poll numbers were hurtin
As he turned on the shooter,he thought he saw Scooter
And prayed Plamegate was buried for certain. (254)

I couldn't find the weapons, or muzzle our secret spying
I couldn't pass my torture bill, and not from lack of trying
I couldn't drill in ANWR or keep Scooter out of jail
So I'll be damned if Harry's face was gonna keep me from my quail. (255)

"Just an accident," you say
In hopes that it will go away
The newsman says it's all ok
We are being lied to (256)

1 part Whittington
1 part Jack Daniels
Pepper lightly (257)

'Neath the brambles and the waning Texas sun
Lies a corporate lawyer whose blood does run
Red state of affairs, beer, affairs of the heart,
Caged coveys of Truth sing Bunker Boy's depart. (258)

When Bill Clinton lied about shooting someone in the face, he was impeached. Doesn't Dick Cheney deserve the same treatment? (259)

I don't know who you think you are
You sure don't know your place
Quit questioning Dick Cheney or
He'll shoot you in the face (260)

Although it is your
shaving grace
it won't do Dick for
birdshot face (261)

When hunting fowl with Big Time Dick,
One rule to remember should do the trick:
Accept your place as quail or duck on his shelf,
Take one in the face or go fuck yourself! (262)

Well, listen to my story bout a man named Dick
Though a chickenhawk he was, on the trigger he was quick
Then one day he was shooting for some quail
And out from the bush, there came a mighty wail. (263)

Come clean with the country he theoretically serves?
Notify the proper authorities?
When self-interest meets duty you can count on Big Dick
To always have other priorities. (264)

How so many got it wrong
Is the real mystery here
Cheney didn't miss the bird
It's called tort reform (265)

Our man Cheney,
Maybe not so brainy?
Got muddled on ale,
Mistook lawyer for quail.(266)

With a nod to the left, or a nod to the right
Lies ambidextrously
'bout the shootin' in the night (267)

(i do not know what it is about this story
that does not fit; only something in me understands
the account is deeper than all bullshit)
nobody, not even the veep, has such a big gun (268)

Oh, Big Time...
what have you done?
You have failed the party,
by leaving witnesses. (269)

There once was a veepster named Dick
First thought that his blast left a nick
Kept coppers away, For nearly a day
Republican Chappaquidick! (270)

Drunky McShootster grabbed him a gun,
"Drinkin' and shootin' sure is fun!
But these damn quail take too much of a chase,"
So he shot an old man in the heart and the face. (271)

If theshooter was lit
you must not acquit (272)

My ambassador girlfriend, a rifle, some beer
Ingredients for a fun day
Gonna bag me a bird (good thing Lynne isn't here)
But then Whittington gets in the way (273)

I shot the attorney. 'Cause he was standing where I could not see.
I shot the attorney. And I did not tell the deputy.
I shot the attorney. Now he may die because of my BB.
I shot the attorney. I'll just go cop a plea on Fox TV. (274)

Little Dick-uns' Iraq...the canned hunt
Yet he would say he's sorry boys, and promise us to pray,
For everyone who's been undone, in their long years--or in their flower;
But does he then call on those whose debts he knows do fear the light of day,
And within the halls of justice, contrive to keep his power? (275)

One night while I was hunting quail
The beer in me was getting stale
No matter, says I , I can always find
A hunting partner and blow his mind (276)

The lawyer, though peppered, has the finest of care
The rich shooter's safe in his rarified air
A poor circus for fools who watch and ignore
The lives being lost in a cruel unjust war. (277)

is it just me
or does anyone else see
that Iraq will now be
Cheney's insanity plea? (278)

I'm 78, white and male
I don't look a damn thing like a quail
My name is Harry Whittington
And I got a ride on Crashcart 1 (288)

Did Dick Cheney just...
Blast a Senior Citizen
with a Big Shotgun? (289)

All this talk of the ill-chosen quarry
does obscure a real news story,
our cardiac kid, the second in line
scarfing down barbeque as if his heart were fine! (290)

Oh Dick you tragic prick
we always knew you're just a hick.
Thanks to your huntin 'slip'
we may yet be free of your evil grip. (291)

His was a preemptive strike
To overthrow a vicious coo
No doubt who has the biggest Dick
America, its you (292)

Cheney was out on the firing line
Killing birds n' feelin' fine
Old Harry wasn't shot cuz he made no sound,
He was shot cuz the meadow kept spinnin' around. (293)

Cheney shot an old man down
But his pals do own that town
Of no investigation did we hear
Cheney - "It was just one beer!" (294)

Harry and Dick went up the hill, To shoot a flock of birdies
Dick shot Harry
At 5:50
And was dining by 6:30 (295)

Roses are picked
Violets are plucked
I'm Dick Cheney
You can get F***ed (296)

He drank he shot he hit, then hid and lied and stalled,
He was much to busy for the nice deputy who called.
For the chumps, the marks, the drones, that would be a day they’d rue,
But he is so rich, and great and good, so honorable, he can say “f*ck you.” (297)

He shot him in the face
He doesn't need a warrant
All for the sake of their base
Isn't it abhorrhent? (298)

They say the coverup's worse that the crime
Sorry fellas not this time
You talkin bout dead-eye Dick's drunken aim?
No, he outed Valerie Plame (299)

Cheney shot Harry. Harry ain't dead.
The truth in this tale ain't been said.
The life in this story, that Dick can't throttle,
Is how far down was he in that bottle? (300)
Thanks to all the people who devoted their time and poetic talents to this contest. And remember, as long as there is Republican rock, you are all winners.

(graphic by Jose G.)


Aw Look, Brady's Got a Friend

Amidst all the articulate lefties like Roger Ailes, Brad DeLong, David E. (happy birthday) and Paul Lukasiak whose non-"hate speech" comments now fill the reopened WaPo blog questioning the Post's ethics in any number of matters, there is one commenter who takes Brady's side. He says "let's hope the far left can contain themselves here" before going on to praise Richard Cohen's recent article dissuading girls from taking math. He even provides a helpful link to his blog, where we find the following:
The column goes straight after the cult of numbers that rules so much of the thinking in the left-wing wonk and chattering classes crowd. These are the people who attack Bush because of the budget deficit (as if we didn't have one under Clinton) and question the numbers behind Social Security privatization. The people who think that their number-crunching ability gives them greater wisdom than the guidance the president gets from a Higher Power.
Congratulations, Jim. Now you know why the people you've courted into some unimaginably hideous three-way -- Hugh Hewitt and Instahack (we won't even mention the Power Tools for fear of inducing projectile vomiting) -- don't have comments sections. Because these are the kind of people who show up, and frankly, it's embarrassing.

Steno Sue should've been fired after her stint as Ken Starr leak ho. She wasn't. (Oh I'm sorry, she hates that name and makes you delete the comments that mention it -- I guess we shouldn't offend and say "Sue Schmidt.") Now she steals the work of a dead man she refuses to acknowledge and uses her position to fuck up any kind of decent reporting on the Abramoff scandal in favor of whoring for the GOP. These are the readers the Post is now courting. This is your fan base. These are the minds that read a Deborah Howell column and say "bravo!"

These are your people now, Jim.

Assume the position.


More Cheney Fallout

Further to Redd's post on greymail this morning, I wanted to bring up another byproduct of a weakened Cheney that could affect the Libby trial.

As immanentize mentioned here in the comments not long ago, another aspect of the greymail defense is the fact that it draws attention to the activities of Libby's superiors:
What I see in this exchange is a little litigation strategy power struggle. Will it be full-bore grey mail -- which would mean that Libby would have to, in the end, be willing to implicate his "bosses" in many ways (Rove Cheney, Hadley?). What I mean by that is that grey mail forces the inspection, if not the production, of documents and leads which the prosecutor might not yet have. In the end, the prosecution might not be able to use the stuff in court, but the point of grey mail is generally to turn attention to other/bigger fish. Think the Noriega trial and the attempts to drag the CIA and former Reagan officials into the defense in Florida.
Libby's lawyers definitely have different agendas. Cline is the greymail specialist whose strategy depends on Libby's willingness to cast the spotlight on his superiors while Jeffress is the Jim Baker partner who wants to use Libby for a firewall to the higherups. I'm also hearing that Ted Wells -- who would most likely defend Libby in court -- is pushing Scooter to defend himself and not take one for the team.

Which also has extremely interesting implications for a weakened Cheney -- if Scooter does not believe that Cheney will have the influence to protect him in the end, will he start leaning toward the Cline/Wells strategy? Or are the purse strings of his defense fund -- held by the odious Barbara Comstock -- tied to the maintenance of the firewall?

Just another factor to think about as we all enjoy the specter of Cheney on the ropes. You know he's thinking about it.

(graphic by Joel)


This Week in Cheney -- Live By the Polls, Die By the Polls

Now that we've had a bit of a lull in the Cheney cycle (not that I believe for a minute that it is anything more than a lull -- this story is not over) it is perhaps appropriate to take stock of what exactly happened this week.

When the Lords of the BushCo. junta wake up each morning they care about one thing: their polls. Everything is seen through the lens of their polling numbers, and not because George Bush wants to be liked. When their polls are strong they can hold their ranks in line and push through their agendas. When their polls are weak it is much more likely that individual members of congress will either a) become more responsive to the needs of their constituents or b) decide that this rapid weakening of their own power is not a good thing.

When the polls are bad people start to break ranks. And now that the Hammer is seriously wounded, their ability to hold off investigations into scandals that could wound them in the fall elections is in jeopardy. When Dubya was jury tampering in his own softball interview with Brit Hume, he said of DeLay:
Well, I like him. When he's over there, we get our votes through the House. We had a remarkable success of legislative victories. A remarkable string of legislative victories.
Many people lamented this week that the "gossip" of the Cheney shooting eclipsed and obscured the more important matter of the Thursday vote by the Senate Intelligence Committee as to whether they would investigate the illegal NSA wiretaps. Several bloggers announced that the Cheney matter was merely inconsequential and quite beneath them; others argued that Cheney would undoubtedly survive and so covering the matter was useless. In doing so they really just announced their profound lack of insight into the way the administration operates.

Early in the week, while Whittington was in the hospital having his heart attack, Cheney was up on the hill trying to strongarm members of the Intelligence Committee into killing the investigation altogether, according to the Washington Post. And Pat Roberts certainly seemed to think he had the votes to do so, at least initially. Yet when the time came, Roberts tabled the vote -- an indication that Cheney had been unsuccessful and Roberts couldn't count on the Republicans on his committee to hang together and vote the way the Administration obviously wanted them to. It was a clear sign that Cheney was extremely weakened by what was going on and couldn't overcome whatever reluctance members of his own party had in the matter. This was something that we probably could not have accomplished if we'd shifted gears and written all the letters and faxes they could eat.

What do you do when openings like that arise? You hit them with everything you can lay your hands on, because you never know which stories are going to spread. I'm really proud that several of those that took root here in the comments -- Puppethead's comments about Cheney's canned hunts, and John Casper and rusty's discovery of the scrubbed MSNBC drinking references to name only two -- made their way into the much larger Cheney narrative that began to pervade scandal-addicted cable news. The savvy Arianna, who has been down this road a time or two, did likewise with her blog. The derision devoted by the wingnuts to these efforts only serves as a tribute to their effectiveness.

Opportunities don't necessarily arise in the tasteful and carefully framed manner you want them to. Instead you have to seize them when they come up, no matter what the shape, size and smell, especially if you're the minority party and your leadership is in disarray. The amount of damage done to BushCo. this week in the Cheney shooting remains to be seen in -- yes, you got it -- the polls. Hopefully there will be enough lasting damage to allow the wiretap hearings and other investigations to squeeze through in a way that wouldn't have been possible before BushCo. took such a direct hit; at the very least it may keep them distracted, much like Monicagate did Clinton, such that they can't get anything done and must devote all their energies to dealing with it.

When you've got people like Chuck Hagel saying...
"“If [Dick Cheney] had been in the military, he would have learned gun safety." know there's a lot of long-simmering resentment against Cheney that may be ready to come to the fore now and blossom. It certainly is a lovely thought.

Update: As Glenn Greenwald notes, the NYT is reporting that Pat Roberts is locking horns with BushCo. over the DeWine proposal to simply exempt the whole warrantless NSA program from the requirements of FISA. Hard to now what is motivating this, but noteworthy nonetheless.

(graphic by Dark Black)


Of Greymail, CIPA, Scooter and Fitz

Crooks and Liars has graciously offered to host the hearing transcript (PDF) from the February 3, 2006, Libby scheduling conference and hearing. (For some contemporaneous notes on the Feb. 3rd hearing, see this post and several others on this page.)

I've taken some time to comb through the transcript and thought that a little legal primer on greymail and CIPA might be useful for readers, along with a non-legalese translation for the hearing itself. So here goes.

The hearing transcript reads as a pretty standard representation of a usual scheduling conference, but deals with issues that are far above my former pay grade in terms of them dealing with serious national security and other classified matters. What both sides are trying to do, with the help of the trial judge, is to set up a framework for how classified documents and other evidentiary materials will be assessed and distributed -- and how disputes over whether discovery is proper will be resolved.

There is already a process set up for classified document review in federal courts. It is governed by CIPA (The Classified Information Procedures Act), which was promulgated in 1980 to streamline cases involving classified materials. CIPA has several steps -- including having originating agencies review materials, reporting to the Federal prosecutor, and then taking that information to the court for review as to what is safe and what is not safe for release.

Obviously, this leaves a lot of room for haggling between Fitz and Team Libby -- and is one of the main reasons we are looking at a trial date for Scooter Libby set for next January.

For more on a USAtty's perspective on CIPA, see here. For a history of CIPA and the CIA and other classified agencies, see here.

"Greymail" is a term that refers to substantial classified document requests on behalf of a defendant. It's a tactic that is in bad standing with most prosecutors who deal with national security matters, because it puts you in a difficult place at times: defend your case or defend your government's secrets.
Graymail is particularly invidious because it is likely to be most successfully employed by former officials from the heart of the government machine who subsequently face trial.
With regard to the "greymail" issue here, this is a complex subject that boils down to this for Team Libby: Scooter had a job that dealt with a lot of high level national security matters. He'd now like to use his complex job as an excuse for committing perjury, but to do that, he has to get access to a lot of the documents that crossed his desk in the service of the Veep. (Shorter Scooter: My job was hard, so you can't hold me responsible for lying.)

Fitz says those docs are irrelevent to the question of whether Libby is a perjurer/obstructor/false statement maker because, frankly, a lie is a lie.

In some cases, a "greymail" defense is a good strategy. Defense counsel are required, ethically, to defend their client with everything they can muster -- otherwise they aren't properly doing their jobs. That is absolutely true -- and if you ever face criminal charges, you'll want an advocate on your side who will do everything she or he can to help you to win your case within the bounds of the law.

In Libby's case, one of his counsels (Cline) has a history of successfully launching client defense based on "greymail" -- for Wen Ho Lee, as one high profile example. However, I would argue along with Fitz that for this case it is a transparent attempt to force a dismissal by over-requesting materials to which the Defendant ought not be entitled (including requests for 277 PDBs, which is unheard of, frankly) because they are outside the bounds of materiality.

Basically, Libby's counsel are banking on the fact that the Bush Administration will refuse to turn over classified materials they have requested. Fitz is arguing that Team Libby has no right to even ask for a lot of the material. The Judge is going to make a determination at some point as to what does or does not have to be turned over to Libby -- and, if it comes to that, whether the case can continue or not if the material is not turned over by the President.

It's a high stakes gamble on all sides, but I would argue that the case law makes it clear that if the documents and evidence requested are neither "material" nor "relevant" to the charges in the indictment, nor are exculpatory (shorthand: make Libby look not so guilty), then the defendant is not entitled to the discovery. (See Fitz' response brief that we discussed yesterday for more on this.)

The bottom line on this hearing: Libby has asked for a lot of information, most of which is highly classified. Fitz has already implemented review procedures on the documents which the judge has found acceptable. Scooter's poor handwriting is holding things up a bit, so the Judge has given everyone until early March to complete document review -- but an extension is possible, if needed.

There will be a hearing set at some point to argue whether or not Team Libby is even entitled to any of this material, and I'd guess that it will be likely that most of it is not discoverable based on the charges and the descriptions of what they are asking for at this point. Of course, nothing is certain until the Judge rules, but I think Fitz makes a persuasive argument that Libby is on a fishing expedition for information on how the ongoing investigation is going -- but he's asking for material that would only be relevent if and when he is indicted for IIPA or Espionage Act charges.

A huge thank you to Pachacutec, who braved the federal courthouse to obtain these docs for all of us.
I went in a suit and tie. DC power drag. Looked like a lawyer with a leather satchel. But no one shot me. In the face....
Thank you, Pach. You are a peach!


Saturday Morning Funnies

It's a Saturday morning gift of giggles and links. Thought we could all use a snicker or two before smacking the hell out of the next political brouhaha.

Crooks and Liars has an hilarious video clip up of GOP Operative O'Bierne trying to spin the Cheney shooting as none of the President's business. Chris Matthews and David Ignatius have a fine time pummeling her idiotic spewing. As a bonus, John has a screen grab of the creepy guy who was standing behind Whittington at the presser yesterday -- just who is that guy, anyway?

The General exposes a fondness for...erm...goats among a certain fratboy set. Manimal, indeed.

Because you just can't get enough Ralph Reed in your day...he has his own graphic novel. Mwahaha. (via dKos)

TalkLeft links up a Fiore cartoon classic on Cheney, Gonzales and domestic spying. Classic.

TBogg is just funny. Period.

So is Attaturk. This just cracked me up this morning. Probably the cold drugs.

Roger Ailes beats up Pajamaline...again. (And for an even more amusing pix, scroll upward to the next post, eh? Bwahahaha...beerhunter...bwahahahaha.)

Oh, and then there is this laugh riot that I found via Laura Rozen: via a FOIA, notes from an aide to Rumsfeld have been obtained that show how eager he was to pin 9/11 on Saddam Hussein and start a war with him. Oh wait, that's not really very funny, is it? Especially in the context of Rumsfeld's new push to bring more propaganda to the masses.

(This picture is just too cute, and I've been saving it for a morning where I thought we could use a giggle. I found it on a website of photos from Namibia.)

UPDATE: Bopnews has some interesting thoughts on Rumsfeld and an attempt to coerce media censorship.


Dispatches from the Land of Hypocrisy

Not to state the obvious or anything, but the GOP is cynically using religion for its own Machiavellian political aims. Again.

I know...shocker.

Just when religious leaders around the nation thought it was safe to trust their membership, the Republican Party apparatus is asking swipe membership directories from their churches.
Mears said the "Republican National Committee has completed a study on grass-roots activity that reveals that people who regularly attend church usually vote Republican when they vote."

"In light of this study's findings, it is imperative that we register, educate and get these potential voters from the pew to the ballot box. To do this we must know who these people are," the memo continued.

"I am requesting that you collect as many church directories as you can and send them to me in an effort to fully register, educate and energize North Carolina's congregations to vote in the 2006 elections," it said.
Nothing like asking your party faithful to go behind Jesus' back -- guess that whole parable about the moneylenders in the temple was just so much paper for Ken Mehlman and his ilk.

I must say, I'm not exactly surprised, given that Republicans brought you such disgusting tactics as sending out a mass-mailing in WV and AR to say that Democrats were out to ban the Bible (nothing like a little lie between the faithful, eh?) during the 2004 Presidential election. Or the ever-popular use of Ralph Reed to bilk the faithful, using his flock to fill his own coffers along with that of the party -- gambling revenue and Jack Abramoff, anyone? Or the painful saga of Terri Schiavo. Or...well, it just keeps going, doesn't it?

It's not that Democrats haven't used the pulpit for political gains in the past -- but Karl Rove, Ralph Reed and their malignant band of cronies have taken this cynical manipulation of the faithful to an entirely new level over the past few years. To the point that the Southern Baptist Convention has called them out on particularly egregious tactics.

There was an editorial a few weeks ago in USAToday entitled "Playing the God Card," that really summed up how disgusting I find this manipulative political hypocrisy.
As religion scholar and writer Stephen Carter wisely argues in his book God's Name in Vain: The Wrongs and Rights of Religion in Politics, faith at its best resists being drawn too far into the nitty-gritty of politics. Who is to say whether Jesus would favor this or that specific policy — that he would frown on SUVs and drive only hybrid cars, as some environmentalists have claimed? Who's to say he would want any part of the often-cynical horse-trading and compromising that play a large part in the making of policy and law?

Faith at its best, at its most powerful, stands outside of culture, Carter argues, where it can best maintain its integrity and prophetic moral force. As Carter sees it, "Religion has too often allowed itself to be seduced by the lure of temporal power, a dysfunctional and even immoral love affair that has led to much human misery and has been destructive as well of true faith."


Friday, February 17, 2006

Late Nite FDL: Dickfest Semifinals, Night 2

What an embarassment of riches we have for this the second night of semifinals in Dickfest, our poetry contest in honor of our fearless Veep who crawled out of his bunker and grimmaced for the cameras today. The contest is so popular it has even inspired imitators who could not constrain themselves to the four line limit, so abundant was their creative impulse.

Remember the winner will receive a copy of Bill Maher's latest book New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer and a poster signed by Mr. Maher himself. His series premeires tonight on HBO at 11pm.

Once again, please vote by the number at the bottom of the entry, and vote only once:
Two unsteady hunters sip, step the fields,
stopBlam! a cordite wind…. Says, “Hey, Jeez, watchit!
Don’t you be pullin’ a Cheney, on me now.” (101)

one lawyer, sans face
what to do...? maybe cheney
should have called The Wolf (102)

I think that we shall never see
A Veep who lies as much as Dick Cheney
Likely in a drunken stupor, he shot a friend in the chest
But his claim that it was from 30 yards fails the sportsman's common sense test (103)

Richard "Big Time" Cheney carries a heavy strap
Like Lee Harvey Oswald, he's bustin' caps
He takes fools out gat, scowl or shiv
The naked fuckin' face of the executive. (104)

News from Iraq hits the back burner
Investigations played down, not a big earner
The great state of Texas' proud flag we hail
R C the fuckin' Veep terrorizes quail. (105)

Fitzgerald on the march
Libby loose of tongue
Harry’s heart distraction (106)

"Stumbling from the ranch car into the brush,
Going after pen-raised quail, what a rush.
Then this old geezer jumped up out of no place
And startled my bird, so I shot him in the face." (107)

Down in Texas a Dick was shotgunning for quail.
Told that he couldn't shoot little birds dead
Without legal permit and risking jail,
He bagged his limit of lawyer instead. (108)

The only thing we have to fear is...
BLAM!!! (109)

Big Time Dick was on the prowl for a flock of feeble pen-raised fowl.
He swung his gun into the sun, and shot a geezer who went into a seizure.
They all stayed up late to get the story straight, about who drank what and when.
But it's all for naught, 'cause he's gonna get caught, and maybe do five to ten. (110)

Drunk Cheney locked & drunk Cheney loaded;
H. Whittington’s drooping white face exploded.
George flew the coop when the covey was flushed;
Dick, why? A Bush in your hand is worth two birds in the brush! (111)

Cheney's cell chirped, saying "no more birds, need a permit stamp."
Cheney says "Hell, twirps can't tell me what to do,
Got one more round left, only question is 'where to?'"
Takes a shot, another shot, another, back to camp. (112)

Dirty Dick
Didn't make Harry's day
When Harry met salvo
Down Texas way (113)

An accident it must have been,
And not a planned attack
Because Dick shot him in the face
Instead of in the back. (114)

one small step for man...
one giant...
BLAM!!! (115)

With bloodshot eyes and whiskey breath,
Cheney was on his game.
He shot poor Harry nearly to death.
Jack Daniels can shoot. He can't aim. (116)

Shot through the heart,
and you're to blame, Harry.
Don't give Dick
a bad name. (117)

Sip n' shoot, sip n' shoot, doesn't that feel nice?
Smoke over the meadow, bourbon over the ice.
Drunken death is Dick's delight; this is Cheney's show.
Dick can drink it straight -- but shoot straight? No. (118)

Swiss miss premature
ejaculation gun shot
Call Karl clean up (119)

Bird in grass
Reveals the hunter
And his lies. (120)

It's me on the hunt
Quail flushed;
my sneer turns to grin
Oh shit I shot my friend (121)

Birdie, birdie in the grass
Just take flight -I'll shoot your ass. (122)

Up you go, you sons of bitches.
BAM - shot one lawyer, collapsed in the ditches. (123)

here birdie birdie...
get up you sissy...
and don't bleed in my car (124)

"Yippiety do dah, dippity day
My oh my, what a wonderful day!
Plenty of sunshine heading my way
Dippity do - BAM, Harry hit the hay!" (125)

GEORGE! I finally got one. Heheheh. In the BUSH.
DANg - that ain't a QUAIL.
AL -Qaeda? Won't work - I only got him in the foot. Not ... enough ... GORE.
DICK. Heheheh. I'm Dick fucking CHENEY. (126)

pacemaker, perazzi, defibber,
went down to the ranch to play,
with quail a quiver, poor Harry will niver,
forget that fateful day (127)

face-time with pellet…
(my kingdom for a bird-stamp)
blood-- like picnic beer (128)

See Dick
See Dick Shoot
See Dick Shoot Harry
Don't Be Such A Dick! (129)

He's shot, nuff said - ain't like he's dead.
The law can wait til I'm good and straight,
and the press can wait even longer (130)

Let's not time the timing of the man who pulled the trigger
Not letting people know he'd bagged a lawyer not a quail –
Since bragging by the hunter is accepted, not de rigeur,
And modesty demands delay in telling this great tale. (131)

sound of gunshot rings
shots pepper innocent life
none could save the quail (132)

I pulled the trigger
So I guess it was me
So I’ll take the blame
In the absence of Libby (133)

Dick and Whittington
Sharing fun
"Run Harry run,
Dick’s got a gun!" (134)

Step out SUV
Take drink, raise gun, shoot lawyer
Quail, go f@ck yourself! (135)

...was yer cocktail
after the shot quail
a double Manhattan
“sorry bout where he got shot in” (136)

where there's smoke, there's fire,
where there's one beer, there's a liar (137)

Please be advised
That lawyers may appear
As quail in disguise (138)

how many birds must a bald man kill
before he thinks he's a man
how many Plames must this bald man name,
before Fitz shows him his shame (139)

I shot the shareholder,
but I did not shoot no diplomat (140)

Let us go then, you and I
Where the evening is stretched out against the sky
Like a 78-year-old man blasted in the face with a shot gun wielded by a drunk, arrogrant lying fool (141)

if the shooter is tight, then we must indict!!! (142)

Whose woods are these? I just don't care
I know that there are quail out there
My good friend Harry must think it weird
That I mistook him for a bird (143)

Step out SUV
Take drink, raise gun, shoot lawyer
Quail, go f@ck yourself! (144)

dick peppered poor harry with lead.
now all the media is fed,
with lie after lie and rovian spin,
alas,once more, let their game begin. (145)

Firearms training? I had other priorities
Like mixing myself three Long Island Iced Teas
Before spotting a wingless bird and giving chase
And then shooting my lawyer friend in the face (146)

Hunting for feathers of mass destruction can be frustrating
But you're my friend
I shoot you in the face with my shotgun for nothing (147)

roses are red
violets are blue
my friend's not dead
so fuck you! (148)

peppered with lead
like a rib-eyed steak
fingers crossed when I said
it was my mistake (149)

it was my mistake
i'm sure you will
admit beacause
i shoot to kill (150)

I have the discression
to reveal to you Plame;
but please do not tell me
how to hunt down my game. (151)

Big Time, Packin' Heat.
Big Heat.
Packin' Time. (152)

be it quail, or harry,
or soldiers, or citizens
dick, sit there and ponder
your multiple mega-sins (153)

Heart (154)

There once was a Dick with a gun
went to Texas on a quail run
but when on the hunt he acted the c***
and shot his best mate, just for fun.(155)

swiss miss
mixed with beer
and peppered with harry
is a rotten brew (156)

Oh, Big Time...
How could you?
You hurt the party,
By leaving witnesses. (157)

Let the angry seas surge beneath and pound,
rain-lashed men heaving a wave-stuck net.
Far ashore the coolies toil, weathered under the harpoon's heft,
a trophy for the vice captain's mantle. (158)

Some men fish in the sea,
Where 'Perfect Storms' imperil,
Others drink a beer or three,
And shoot fish in a barrel. (159)

holy crap! see!
you shot he!
now off thee
to corpus cristi. (160)

The lawyers first!, the wise old bard once said.
Just blast away into the face and head!
All real men know that that will do the trick.
So burped the manliest man, our latest Dick. (161)

killing gamebirds in the night
swilling drinks with froth and bite
who the hell would ever figger
soon all would be so,very,very,very bigger (162)

When William Clinton was the president
To get a blow job was a big disgrace.
But times have changed, now it's OK
To shoot a load in some old geezer's face! (163)

As the shotguns ring out
look to this lot;
for it's the heart of a nation
that has been fatally shot. (164)

There once was a man from Wyoming
Who took a pot shot into the gloaming
He winged an attorney, who took a slow journey
Cheney thought he was a pidgeon who was homing. (165)

Paying Taxes naught
We've bought
Idiotic (166)

Old man
Big balls
"But they're blue,
So I'll shoot you" (167)

Rich and old
No grandchild
Desperate, angry,
Poor and wild (168)

Trust us
We'll protect you
Bend over (169)

Get your news from TVs
Vote from your knees
We'll do
What we please (170)

“Bigshot Buckshot” on the spot:
Shooting birds, people, whatever you’ve got
Questions rise; he answers not
Is this a metaphor, or what? (171)

I was off in the bush with fair Pamela, When I turned old Harry to Spamela
We nearly got caught, Now Lynne is distraught
I hope no one brought their camera (172)

The shooting victim’s not to blame,
(His name is not dear Valerie Plame);
He came up behind me and gave a hoot
And I thought the bastard shouted “shoot.” (173)

In legal scandal firmly mired,
Cheney fired.
Approaching the body he was heard to curse,
"Eh. Could be worse." (174)

There once was a Veep named Dick Cheney;
He aimed at a bird's little heine.
He stumbled around, quite snockered but proud
to have bagged who he thought was Ma Rainey. (175)

democracy in its last throes
lining up crosses, row by row
hurling lies, like buckshot, at imagined foes,
this vice president has got to go (176)

With guns a blazin
the events of February 11
cannot compare
to his role in 9/11 (177)

with your gatling gun
and mary matalin run
to the fox news den
home of all your men (178)

The covey rose
as did Dick
His pellets aspray
ruined Harry's day (179)

While sipping on his pint of ale
Dick thought he’d like to shoot a bird
But he bagged Harry, not a quail
When his shot went off, premature (180)

The sheriff at last came a calling
But Dick was busy with his dinner
He dreamt that night of Harry falling
While his story spun into the spinner (181)

The story missed the morning paper
until word came from a lady rancher
this shot was no assault just pepper
y'all see its Harry's own fault, now can't you? (182)

here comes the bird flu
good news for you who
would like us all to
forget your boo-boo (183)

I’m not sorry, no I’m not sorry
I put that old man in his place
I’m not sorry, no I’m not sorry
I shot the country in the face. (184)

As the shotguns ring out
look to this lot;
for it's the heart of a nation
that has been fatally shot. (185)

On the front lines, defending the nation,
Protecting us all, from the quail invasion.
I fired off a shot, my duty, your Honor.
But old Harry forgot, to put on his armor. (186)

Many acres to hunt, but fewer
than one per dead Iraqi;
Many excuses needed, but newer
without a Libby-like lackey. (187)

Harry's face was bloody and raw.
He got a taste of shock and awe.
Faulty intelligence: the shot was clear.
Bin Laden the bird had nothing to fear.(188)

bunker blind dick shot
old man vexed
memo to Scooter:
you're next. (189)

Dick Cheney hunting
Drunkenly, he wheels around
Birdshot in the face (190)

A drunken shooter
Constitution in season
A drunken looter
All boozed up for treason. (191)

The Loaded Shotgun shoots; and, having shot,
Moves on: nor all thy silence nor spin shall lure it back to cancel half a Wound,
Nor all thy lies undo the crime of it. (192)

There once was a Dick with a sneer
Who liked to kill birds and drink beer
Though his aim was a shame, he deflected the blame:
"Go fuck yourself Harry, my dear" (193)

To "Duck"cheney we 're all quails.
Watch your back, face,neck and heart. (194)

Said Dick to the rest of the crew,
I like hunting these peasants, don't you?
And imagining the poor in his foyer,
he turned round and bagged him a lawyer. (195)

Richard Cheney went to Texas
To get away from dimwit,
Shot a rich guy in the face -
That's one more than the limit. (196)

As Cheney blasts lawyers
it's easy to tell;
that we fight for a Nation
gone blind as all hell. (197)

government privlege
our trust, honor, pride are gone
cheney owns the bank (198)

A Quail, A trail and some ice-cold ale
It's sunset and the air is freezin'
I flushed a covey, and as they flew above me
I bagged a lawyer, ooops, not in season! (199)

The sun was setting on the fields at a slow and saddened pace.
It shined its dying rays upon the man I shot in the face.
Did this involve some larger Godly message? I paused to think.
A metaphor for arrogance? Power and corruption? Naahh, let’s have a drink. (200)
And here's the nightly push for Ciro -- who, thanks to the efforts of everyone involved, has raised $136,000 through the internet. He started out with $43,000 to the DINO Cuellar's $292,000; we've given him a fighting chance (on this blog alone we've raised over $16,000 of that). Thanks to everyone. You can see his TV spot here, and as Kos notes, if you're thinking of giving more, now is a good time to do it -- money didn't pour into the Hackett campaign against Schmidt until the last minute and it was too late to make good use of it.

So if you'd like to express your appreciation for the progressive poets who have entertained you this evening, the tip jar is here.

Update: The WaPo blog is hopping once again. David E., Paul Lukasiak, Brad DeLong and others are swinging for the fences.

(graphic by Dark Black)


Melting the Ice

There was a lot of frustration this week about the fact that a full-court press wasn't made to influence the Senate Intelligence Committee into investigating the illegal NSA wiretaps. Aside from the fact that all the oxygen got sucked out of every other story when the Veep shot a 78 year-old good friend acquaintance in the face, there wasn't anything that could have prevented what actually happened with the vote yesterday.

As Glenn Greenwald says:
First, nobody ever thought that a just resolution of this scandal was dependent upon an investigation by the Senate Intelligence Committee, dominated, as it is, by the mewling, slavish and indescribably dishonest Pat Roberts. The notion that this scandal has come to an end all because Roberts blocked, for the moment, hearings that were to be held by that Committee is nonsensical. Thankfully, this scandal never depended upon the integrity of Pat Roberts, and hearings in front of that Committee were merely one of the many ways to compel a real investigation, but it was hardly the only or even primary way.

Moreover, the Committee did not vote against an investigation. Instead, Roberts merely invoked a procedural device as Chairman to prevent a vote, for now, from taking place. (Incidentally, what happened to the Republican mantra that procedural maneuvers ought not be used to block up-or-down votes? It seems that principle only applies to matters where they know they will prevail on the vote. Here, there were clearly Republican members of the Committee who did not want to go on record – and who may have been unwilling to go on record – voting to oppose an investigation. As a result, no vote was held).
Glenn goes on to provide some much needed context:
The reality is that the more the Administration fights to suppress investigations and conceal relevant facts, the more fuel is added to this fire. Every presidential scandal in history has been exacerbated by the cover-up component. Opponents of the Clinton Administration had some of their most compelling political P.R. victories when the Administration invoked precepts of "Executive privilege" in order to block interrogation and to avoid the disclosure of documents.

Rather than viewing each obstructionist step by the Administration as some sign of our inevitable defeat and doom, we ought to see it and use it as what it is -- a sign that, contrary to their bravado, the Administration is petrified of this scandal and is doing everything possible to prevent Americans -- through their Congress and the courts -- from discovering the truth.
The NSA scandal has been upon us for two months. Watergate took 2 1/2 years to come to a full boil. Abu Gonzales claims that he's not able to imagine what Comey and Ashcroft "add to the discussion," but clearly he can if they're claiming executive privilege. The White House is very, very frightened about what could be unearthed in this investigation, and that's a very good reason to keep digging -- no matter how long it takes.

(graphic by Dark Black)


Dick Cheney: Armed and Hammered

Come take a stroll through our new FDL Cafe Press Annex, "The Cheney Collection" -- designed by Dark Black. A few prêt-à-porter items the fashion conscious liberal barbarian will no doubt fail to wash.

Although the administration this morning went balls-to-the-wall today to kill the story about how the Vice President shot an old man in the face, it doesn't seem to be taking. Today on Hardball Matthews said: "George Bush was made to look like Fredo. He couldn't control his Vice President."

This is still in flux. Much fallout yet to come.

Junta loyalist Peg-a-loon sent up a trial balloon about ditching Cheney, and the controvery continues to grow. Holden has more about the gross errors made by Chief Wiggam and the Texas Park and Wildlife Service, and people are now trying to re-enact the official story -- with alarming lack of success. It appears Whittington was shot from between 15-18 feet, not the 90 Cheney claims. You can see the video here.

Most telling -- Whittington himself today thanked the media. Sounds like he may not have been so happy about being shot by a drunk, smeared by his buddies then dragged in front of a camera for a massive PR stunt three days after having a heart attack, does it?

The Sunday talk shows should be revealing, as should the next round of polling.

So fix yourself another highball, Big Time. You ain't out of the woods yet.

MSNBC wants to know what you think.


Washington Post Blog: Back On

Church Lady Brady says that the WaPo blog is back on. He says "Tough criticism is welcome; personal attacks on writers or other readers are not."

Really? That brings up a good point. When Brady had his long sit on the pity pot about mean liberal bloggers the other day, he climbed down long enough to devote some special time to tenderly rimming the Power Tools for their work on Dan Rather and the TANG story as an example of how valuable blogs could be (though the Tool Timers, in typical fashion, think Brady should've spent a bit more time down there, they really wanted him to work the crevices).

Over at Corrente, Xan made this comment:
Brady sez:
Bloggers have indisputably helped fan controversy over a CBS memo on a broadcast about President Bush's National Guard service.
Whereas he could have said "Bloggers, specifically Paul Lukaisiak, unpaid and distributed for free, covered the story we didn'’t, that George Bush failed to complete the National Guard service that he still lists on his resume. We, and the (handsomely) paid establishment media, never covered that story at all, instead allowing ourselves to be suckered by the great '“faked memos'” story, which we failed to investigate properly as well.

"Considering the no-stone-unturned, no-expense-spared, no holds barred coverage we gave to every cockamamie accusation against President Clinton, we could have done better, and we understand now why the disparity would lead some to suspect we are in the tank for Republicans. Sorry about that. Our bad."”

Instead he spends virtually all of Page 1 of a 2 page story complaining about being called bad names. Sorry, Jim, being as civil, gracious and (sound of grinding teeth) polite as I can possibly manage, that still qualifies as "“whiny" in my book.
Brady wonders why "these people" are "so angry." Could it possibly be because he is lying through is teeth? That tough criticism is anything but "welcome?"

One of the thing Brady still harps on in his piece is how Abramoff "directed" money to Democrats. One of the original commenters on the Maryland Moment blog made this point about WaPo reporter Derek Willis:
Willis wrote: "But contrary to what some commenters have said here, Abramoff did direct donations to Democratic candidates and committees. Our reporters have documents showing this to be the case, and I have asked that we post at least some of them so that readers can see for themselves."

That was two hours ago. Now, it takes me about ten minutes to scan a document, and upload it to my own website, and post a URL -- and that's because I'm not very good at all this "internets" stuff.

Willis claims that there are documents in which Jack Abramoff directs his clients to give to Democrats. One assumes that these include signed letters or memos from Abramoff to his clients, or emails directly from Abramoff to his clients --- and one assumes that if such documents actually existed, the Post would have written about them as part of what Deborah Howell described as Susan Schmidt's "explosive" investigative work on the Abramoff scandal.....

But to date, all the Post (and Willis) have ever come up with are these facts

1. Native Americans tribes give money to both parties

2. Some Native American tribes were represented by a firm that Abramoff worked for

3. Some of these tribes gave money to some Democrats -- but since Abramoff has been around, they aren't giving Democrats as much

So, Willis, where are your "documents"? Its been two hours plus -- ten times as long as it would take for you to scan and post the "Abramoff memo" you need to show us that you aren't lying through your teeth....

Posted by: paul lukasiak | Jan 17, 2006 10:31:19 AM | Permalink

well, its now three hours and counting since Willis claimed that "Abramoff did direct donations to Democratic candidates and committees. Our reporters have documents showing this to be the case" and also claimed that he was going to get those documents posted...

but instead of posting these "explosive" documents, the Post deletes Willis's claim....

Posted by: paul lukasiak | Jan 17, 2006 11:29:24 AM | Permalink
Notice the author -- yes, Paul Lukasiak.

There is nothing in either of these posts that falls outside the realm of "tough criticism" Brady claims to so bravely court. Yet these comments -- which are preserved in archives -- have never been restored to the blog and Brady continues to characterize them as brutal and obscene. I asked Brady about them in the WaPo online chat, I caught up with him at Jay Rosen's when he was commenting there and asked him, and he refuses to answer. He continues to use his pulpit to bash the liberal blogosphere like a big blubbering babyman but never answers this question, which effectively renders all his excuses hollow lies.

Remember the name -- Paul Lukasiak. He's done amazing work that deserves every accolade the Power Tools relentlessly insist on claiming for themselves. And I'll keep bringing up his name, and waving it in Brady's chickenshit face, until he answers what it is about Paul Lukasiak that sends him running for his mommie's skirts like a little girl -- could it be the fact that Paul continually shoots holes in their cheap, transparently partisan efforts to throw a robe over the naked emperor?

Brady wants to know why we use such coarse, hot language. Well, let's let him in on a really poorly kept secret. We use it consciously, because it's the only rhetoric that cuts through the mountains of bullshit people like him continue to rain down on us and everyone else who wants an honest answer out of government. If he can't stand it then he just better run home crying and get out of the fucking way, because it's not going to stop.

Oh it is now one month to the day since Deborah Howell published her original article saying Abramoff gave money to Democrats. She has still not posted a correction to this article.


Fish Or Cut Bait

Patrick Fitzgerald has filed his Consolidated Response to Team Libby's Discovery Motions. It's a 32-page response brief that covers all the motions filed thus far by Team Libby, for all of the myraid of discovery requests that they have made. (Tom Maguire is graciously hosting the PDF of the document here. Thanks, Tom. You can read his take on the docs here, as well.)

After spending some time going over the response brief, it's pretty much what I expected in terms of argument from Fitz and his staff -- Fitz argues that Libby vastly overreaching on discovery requests that have no relevance to the charges he faces, and that Libby's defense counsel appear to be on some sort of fishing expedition for information pertaining to other matters outside the indictment charges of perjury, false statements and obstruction.

On page 9, footnote 1, of the brief, Fitz reveals that there was an additional filing from his team of an ex parte (meaning it went only to the Judge, and not to Team Libby) affadavit under seal which makes extensive reference to grand jury information, including the identities of various witnesses, their testimony, and the strategy and direction of the continuing investigation. According to the brief, this was filed along with this response on 2/16/06.

My assumption is that this details some of the ongoing investigative work and potentially those areas to which Libby continues to be an impediment to the investigation, and where other members of the Administration may be implicated, along with where the investigation may be currently headed and why such requests for information from Libby would cause difficulties for the investigation.

The judge will review that material and make a determination on a couple of fronts: (1) whether or not the material referred to in the ex parte filing is, indeed, relevant or irrelevant to the charges faced by Libby and (2) to what, if any, of that information Libby may be entitled (as Fitz argues, none, but the judge will have to review the information in the context of the entire case and the applicable case law). There will be a motion date for arguments set at some point in the future where this will no doubt be argued much further by both sides, and a ruling will issue at some point after that.

On page 11, Fitz argues that the only reporter information which has not been shared with Libby is that which relates to other individuals (who may or may not be currently under investigation) who are not Libby. Fitz argues that this is neither relevant nor material to Libby's case, and that the material ought to be privileged due to grand jury secrecy requirements. (Standard prosecutorial objection, frankly, to a request that is beyond the boundaries of the "four corners of the indictment.")

I do wonder if Team Libby is fishing for some particular piece of information here -- potentially about someone who has testified adversely to Libby's or some other Administration official's interest. If there is some mole who has been feeding information to Fitz and his team, as some have speculated, this sort of fishing expedition might be one way to get a hint as to who that might be.

On pages 13-14, Fitz lays out more reasons why he feels that the Libby requests are tangential at best, and an attempt at overreach for a potential dismissal as a "greymail" tactic. This is especially true in the arguments advanced regarding Valerie Wilson's employment status -- and Fitz' argument that this has nothing whatsoever to do with the charges Libby faces (perjury, obstruction, false statements), and that Team Libby is using this as a pretext for a vast discovery fishing expedition.

Fitz hits this point heavily on page 15, stating that Team Libby, "whether by design or otherwise" has made discovery requests which impinge on governmental privilege issues and that the Judge ought to rebuff this transparent greymail attack under the guidelines established in CIPA. Fitz goes on to bolster this argument on page 20 (by saying Libby is attempting "to bootstrap" an argument that the massive PDB and other document requests have any relevance whatsoever to his charges) and on page 25 (by alluding to defense counsel's "breathtaking" and "transparent effort at greymail" on behalf of Libby).

Essentially, the entire response brief is one big "put up or shut up" from Fitz to Team Libby. We knew when Libby hired Cline (the former counsel for Wen Ho Lee who specializes in greymail cases out of Jones Day in LA) that this would be a large portion of the defense tactic at the start of the case, but the breadth with which such requests have been made truly is nothing short of ballsy. Requesting 277 PDBs is not something you try every day in defense of a client for a perjury indictment, let me tell you.

Based on my knowledge of the case law involved (Brady, Giglio, Poindexter, George and others), Fitz has a very good chance of winning his arguments. But, as with anything in court, nothing is certain until you get the written ruling.

The AP (via MSNBC) covers the filing, as does Bloomberg, which notes that Fitz has already turned over more than 11,000 pages of documents to Team Libby to date.

Additionally, the WaPo noted yesterday in an article about Cheney's declassification claims that Libby's defense may attempt to use those claims as a hook.
Libby is not charged with leaking classified information, and his lawyers said last week that there was no truth to a published report that they had advised the court or prosecutors that Libby will raise a defense based on authorization by superiors.

A legal expert said Cheney's comments could nonetheless foreshadow a Libby defense.

Former Whitewater independent counsel Robert Ray said, "If the focus is off the defendant and on to somebody else, generally for the defense that's a good day. If it turns out that Cheney was actively involved in decisions related to the disclosure of a CIA officer's identity and if the truth of it is that he was orchestrating the disclosure of information to the media, it seems to me that's a fundamentally different case than one centered around the activities of Libby."
I don't buy how declassification claims can make the fact that Libby lied repeatedly to investigators and the grand jury disappear in a poof of magic legal smoke, but then I'm not trying to spin the national media establishment on behalf of my client, either.

And finally, John Eckenrode, the chief FBI investigator on Fitz' team, is retiring after 32 years of service to the Bureau, according to the Philadelphia Inquirer. He'll still be an integral part of any trial involving Libby or others who may yet to be indicted, because he was the chief officer who took witness statements and was involved in overseeing so many aspects of the investigation thus far. Here's hoping he has a great retirement, and a smooth transition into some nice private sector consulting gig or into a La-Z-Boy lounger of his choice. He's earned it and then some.

Fitz has clearly been down this defense block a time or two, although his tone in this brief is that of prosecutor who is laughing off the audacity of defense counsel's requests (a common tone, frankly, for prosecutors at this stage of back and forth on discovery -- I've been on both the receiving end of this as well as the dishing it out end). I think he has solid arguments that a large amount of the information requested by Team Libby is irrelevent to the charges in the indictment, that Libby is fishing for potential discovery for possible future charges for himself and others in the Administration (to which he is not entitled until such time as those charges may be filed).

One bit that amused me was on pages 28 and 29, wherein Fitz argues that Libby would not be entitled to information regarding Valerie Wilson's covert employment status unless he could show that he (Libby) had been privy to such documentary proof at the time that his alleged crimes were occurring. It's your basic "put up or shut up" response from Fitz -- but it requires that Libby either let it go (because he did not see such documentation, and thus admit that it has no relevence whatsoever to his state of mind at the time of indictment) or that Libby fesses up to knowing that she was covert (which would open a whole new level of speculation, now wouldn't it?) or that both sides will just keep on whistling past this issue altogether.

Never play poker with Fitz. That's all I'm saying.


What If It Were Bill?

From reader Harvey:
The parallels are endless, except in every case the things that got Clinton probed and vilified are comical compared to the far more numerous and serious things that this administration are allowed to skate free on.

Here's one: Clinton's discussion about Lewinsky with Betty Currie immediately following his deposition in the Jones case became grounds for impeachment (suborning perjury). Cheney's discussion with the non-eyewitness witness GOP lobbyist Armstrong about his having just shot a man in the face -- and Armstrong's subsequent telephone call with Karl Rove (the one where, as you said, Rove sat silently listening) -- well, that's just an attempt to be as accurate as possible before informing anyone, including the president, of what had happened.
MSNBC, the network that helpfully scrubbed any reference to Cheney's drinking, is now giving BushCo. unlimited time to drag an old man out of his hospital bed and prop him up as a PR stunt, let the Veep drone on at some hype-fest that is about as spontaneous as one of his canned hunts, and now Bush is doing his Anthony Robbins impression as he pimps for war. Meanwhile the MSNBC quote-unquote "reporters" are all quick to point out that the sheriff's report cleared Dick.


Update: Digby:
Teachable moments like this don't come along every day. Thankfully, we have a gooood man like Dick Cheney to show us how it's done. For instance, the next time somebody accidentally runs over a pedestrian and refuses to talk to police about it until the next day, we should remember that he was traumatized. After all, he witnessed someone get run over right before his eyes and it profoundly affected him. As long as there was no fellatio involved, he is as much a victim as the wounded person.


These Are the Times...

Some weeks are easier than others in terms of optimism. Having spent the past week peering into Dick Cheney's dark corners (never a cheery place to be, even in the best of times, let alone in a week where he shot a hunting companion), and optimism has been a little more difficult to come by than usual.

It just seems like the nasty bits and scandals are coming out of the woodwork of late, and that good news is becoming more and more difficult to find.

I know it is thoroughly nerdy, but in times like these, I pick up material from our nation's history and remind myself about what true obstacles really are -- and how much courage and conviction it took to overcome them at our nation's founding and throughout our history. Thought I would share an excerpt of what I was reading yesterday evening, from Thomas Paine:
THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated.
Someone said to me yesterday that these are big battles that we are waging -- and that the future of our nation hangs in the balance. I needed the pick-me-up and thought I would return the favor by passing that sentiment on to all of you: these are important issues that we debate and, just like Thomas Paine and the Founders who fought these battles before us, nothing that is worth having comes easily.

But the fact that we suit up and fight for what we believe to be right has so much value. To be able to do so alongside so many of you is an honor. And I just felt the need to say that this morning, so thank you for everything you do and have done -- and for everything we will continue to do as we move forward.

I'm reading through the Fitz motion response and will have notes on it later, as well as some other news from that front. Stay tuned.

THIS JUST IN: Whittington will appear at a news conference within the hour. Will update as I get details.

UPDATE: Whittington news conference going on as I type. Whittington looks fairly good, pretty much like every lawyer I spent my time with daily when I was practicing. (Reminds me of several people I know, actually.) Very much an old-style Southern gentleman, clearly one with some trial experience -- he's good in front of a crowd and quite smooth in delivery, and his primary concern is that this will have a lasting impact on the sport of quail hunting, and to make certain that he says repeatedly that it was an accident. Concern for the Cheneys and what they have had to deal with in this as well, and grateful to his family and friends and the medical folks who have provided treatment. Statement was brief -- he had some bruising on his face and neck, but not substantial visible injuries. Was dressed in suit and tie (once a lawyer, always a, so no way to see any injury area on or around his chest or much of his neck. If I can find a full transcript of the statement, I'll link it up.

Very much a "nothing to see here, moving right along" sort of statement. Cheney is also speaking today to the Wyoming legislature -- I'll update if there is any news from there as well.

UPDATE #2: Jane says: Words I didn't hear in the press conference: "It was all my fault, just like Norm Coleman and Alan Simpson said."

MSNBC now showing Dick Cheney speaking to a very friendly Wyoming legislature -- and Lynn is with him today as well.


Truthiness Is Overrated

At what point do we all sit back and begin to wonder how much power Dick Cheney has accumulated in this Administration? Cheney decided that he could simply ignore all the directives coming from the White House, including apparently specifics coming from Karl Rove and Andy Card as to how and when announcements ought to be made.

Rumor has it that Cheney was supposed to do a brief presser outside the hospital on Sunday and decided not to do so -- but didn't tell anyone at the WH that he was taking a pass.

The shooting has been a PR disaster for this White House, and especially for Cheney, who has never been the "warm and fuzzy" aspect of the ticket anyway. You know you are headed down the wrong path in your reaction when both Marlin Fitzwater and Dick Morris smack you over the head with a dunce cap.

Speaking of Morris, C&L has some video of Morris on Hannity's show where Sean pretends that Cheney has never been a drinker. Guess Sean missed the interview where the Veep admitted to drinking the day of the shooting to Fox's own Brit Hume. Sean gets peeved with Morris for questioning the Veep's actions -- talk about your cult of personality politics.

Do we have one president in this country -- or two?

It is not an academic question, but one that needs to be addressed, given the substantial activity that has gone on in this VP's office and the level of secrecy under which he tends to operate. (And given his claims of being able to declassify information on his own whim, which is a national security secrets disaster waiting to happen. NPR had a great piece on this issue yesterday, and you can listen to it here.) And it is a question that policy wonks and media watchers from all sides of the aisle have started asking out loud.

The LATimes asked some tough questions yesterday regarding this Administration's failures in immediate response time in crisis situations -- and that this latest example of holding the press and the public at arm's length after Dick Cheney shot his fellow hunting companion was far too remniscent of the lack of candor and responsiveness following Katrina.
"If the buck stops with you, you are the person who has to take charge," said Leon E. Panetta, a White House chief of staff under President Clinton. "I get the impression in this White House that the buck sometimes stops everywhere else but [with] the president…. Frankly, that mentality leads to nothing but trouble."

Some senior Republicans, including top officials from previous GOP administrations, privately said they shared Panetta's views.
Sounds to me like Poppy's friends aren't so happy with the Veep these days. Especially given the fact that Junior's poll numbers continue to slide ever-downward.

E.J. Dionne hits a note that I think bears further discussion about this particular Administration: the phony populism that they have used to boost themselves with the "regular folk," as my Granny would have said, all the while knifing those folks in the back in what they are actually doing within the budget and its falsely-named initiatives.

A large number of GOP members of Congress are unhappy with this Administration's budget priorities -- especially with some of his proposed cuts as leading into the mid-term elections in the Fall. An open rebellion among some has been reported, and with the ballooning deficit and the ever-expanding gap between the poorest Americans and those on the top of the pile, the question of priorities and of who we want to be in this nation gets raised more and more.

This all ties in to the question of leadership at the top: is this President truly running things in the country -- or is he being run by those around him who have their own agendas: Karl Rove and the desire for political dominance and power; Dick Cheney and the desire for more central control over federal governmental powers and a more militarized approach to foreign policy...the list is endless in terms of the varying factions within this Administration. But with a President who has seemed detached and, at times, unresponsive entirely, the question of how much of a tin ear he has is being raised more and more.

Look at the questions we ask here regularly:

Who was behind the outing of Valerie Plame Wilson and why? It sure seems like Dick Cheney played a fairly big role in that question, just based on what we know from the Libby indictment and surrounding documentation, doesn't it?

Was the President ever truly engaged in the Katrina disaster -- or was he not to be bothered while on vacation? The latest Congressional reports on that issue are scathing, and they come from a predominantly Republican committee. (The Democratic report is even more harsh in its assessment.)

I'm hard pressed to come up with any coherent summary of our foreign policy, other than "yeehaw" clearly doesn't cut it. The fact that Condi Rice was raked over the coals this week for our dismal performance in Iraq and for being surprised by Palestinian election results and other matters in the Middle East and elsewhere hardly inspires confidence that any plan will be forthcoming with any more coherence than we are already seeing.

I'm not even sure where to start with regard to domestic policies. Between the mining disasters we've seen recently, some of which may be due to the undercutting of oversight under this Administration through to the cuts across the board in early childhood education initiatives, student loan programs, and the disaster that is Medicaid-D -- well, it's just dismal, isn't it?

Just who is in charge of this government? I'd sure as hell like to hand out a pink slip, if I could just figure out where the buck stops with this crew -- they sure do a good job of passing the buck around, don't they? Too bad it never gets to the people who actually need a hand up.

UPDATE: I'll be doing a bit with ThinkProgress Radio later this morning. Details and a link to the podcast when I get it.

UPDATE #2: Here's a link to the livestream of ThinkProgress Radio. I'll be on around 11:30 am ET this morning.


Thursday, February 16, 2006

Late Nite FDL: Dick Cheney, Armed & Hammered

Last night's Dickfest was such a success we're going to have to do this in a series of heats, we just can't put them all up at once and do them justice. Here are the first round of contestants and their poetic odes to our esteemed Veep. Please vote ONLY ONCE in the comments and only vote for one entry by number (listed at the bottom of each).

We'll have another round tomorrow night -- top three from each night will move into the finals. We boast some gifted poets in our midst, so enjoy:

errant brrr turned right
blaze of orange, sun, hillside,
bloody “Jeez, you fuck!” (1)

the veep was holding
the right flank of the line
noise….breathe… (2)

winter hunters move
women flank the wise master
he then shows them how (3)

caged birds cringe at dusk
waiting for the explosion
shouts, sirens, relief (4)

empty bottles bump
door slams as big man moves fast
empty shells fall hollow(5)

trigger snap sends peppering
two hearts snap as one briefly as sounds ring, fade
silencer now inserted (6)

heart, face, blood, ardor,
we bring the world here now
and the hunt evolves (7)

the veep was holding
the right flank of the line
noise….breathe… (9)

winter hunters move
women flank the wise master
he then shows them how (10)

caged birds cringe at dusk
waiting for the explosion
shouts, sirens, relief

empty bottles bump
door slams as big man moves fast
empty shells fall hollow

trigger snap sends peppering
two hearts snap as one briefly as sounds ring, fade
silencer now inserted

heart, face, blood, ardor,
we bring the world here now
and the hunt evolves

Whittington is red
My blood is blue
I'll do what I damn please....
Fuck you! (11)

Arrogant VP
Shot an old man in the heart
Only had one beer? (12)

Alas poor Dick,
I knew him well.
He sends young soldiers to die. With luck he'll rot in hell. (13)

I am Deadeye Dick
I am the real president
classified be damned (14)

My Time is Now
Don't Fuck With Me
I am Big DICK Cheney
or I'll Blow You Away (15)

Where quails are shaking/
The aspen are quaking (16)

Harry was my pal
Sure, I shot him in the face
It was Harry's fault (17)

Why pepper with birdshot
When the warm embrace of
A smothering pillow or an
Unplugged cord, will do? (18)

Why pepper with birdshot
When the warm embrace of
A smothering pillow or an
Unplugged cord, will do? (19)

We're in Texas now
I can drink and shoot a guy
Cops will never tell (20)

Richard B. Cheney
Doesn't hunt when it's rainy;
Eschewing dampened quarry,
He fires his shotgun into the chest of a 78-year old named Harry. (21)

Deadeye Dick's order is: "Ready, shoot, fire, aim."
Matalin says Harry's the name on which we must blame.
Bush thinks that shotgunning a grouse is like killing a spouse.
Roves' greatest assassination was Plame. (22)

The lovely landscape of Texas wealth,
The relaxed stalk of priveleged stealth,
Much time to quaff, no time to aim,
But eons to spin about who I maim (23)

Quail. Yes, quail
that bird that doesn't fly well.
Shoot.Yes, shoot
Damn, he hadn't been in the cell. (24)

I stalked my prey at a slow pace,
and I shot a 78-year-old-man in the face.

Everybody wants to blame me,
but I tell them, "Hey! I'm Dick Cheney!" (25)

SAT Analogy for the High Schoolers:

Salt : Injury :: Pepper : _______
Answer: Shooting a 78-year old man in the face (26)

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Dick Cheney shot a man in the face. (27)

Guns Don't Shoot 78-year old Men in the Face,
Dick Cheney does. (28)

What's your name?
I'm Dicky the clown.
Ask me again and
I'll shoot you down! (29)

Just One Beer
Ah, that's better
Everything's so clear
.... And that's a feather (30)

Coalition of the Shooting a 78-year Old Man in the Face (31)

Lesbian daughter
left us humiliated
shooting not as bad. (32)

Two hundred birdshot
lodged throughout an old lawyer
What's the chance they'll move?(33)

Dr. Pepper nose
didn't go with antelope
only booze would do.(34)

Swiss ambassador
engorged my dangly manparts
safety forgotten. (35)

Dick Cheney Determined to Attack in the U.S. (36)

Cheney shot
Then ran away
A Chickenhawk
He couldn't stay (37)

Deep in Texas scrub;
venal men play bloody games.
A great nation falls. (38)

Roses Are Red
Violets are Blue
Dick Cheney shoots old men
Instead of birds with the flu. (39)

Cheney's got a gun,
His whole world's come undone (40)

There was a big Dick from Wyoming
Who hunted for quail in the gloaming.
His last shot went wide and his friend almost died,
Which isn't considered quite sporting. (41)

Cheney's hunting misadventure
Nearly led to moidah
As it is, what we enjoy
Is merely shotgunfreude (42)

Ask not
what your country
can do for you...
BLAM!!! (43)

I'm a little veep-pot
this is my spout
go hunting with me
and I'll blow your brains out! (44)

Birdshot to the face
Our Veep shoots an acquaintance
Why is this not news? (45)

There once was a VP named Dick
Who was a notorious prick
But his friends let him carry
And down went old Harry (46)

Harry, Harry, Dignitary
Tell us your huntin' woes
'Bout farm-bred quails and frosty ales
And Dick's buckshot up your nose. (47)

He's always hiding, and not law-abiding,
but tricky Dick is in it pretty thick.
He peppered his friend and wants to pretend,
that he thought him a quail, but to no avail. (48)

Dick Cheney was loaded for bear,
But only his buddy was there;
A blast to the face, a potential disgrace--
But FoxNews is both balanced and fair. (49)

The Veep peppered Old Whittington, cried Alice,
After sloshing his beer from a chalice,
They found the lawyers Angina in South Carolina,
And part of his anus in Dallas. (50)

hume says veep
was just responding
to quail-hunting program
related activities (51)

I’m Dick Cheney
See me sneer
I’ve got a gun
Now toss me that beer (52)

the vice commander was not
loaded, half-cocked and shot.
the quail had a clue
too bad that Harry did not. (53)

Cheney was back from a weekend hunt,
Having committed a crime.
Bush asked, "Dick, did you hit anything?"
Cheney replied, "Yup. Big Tme." (54)

February is the cruelest hunt,
Freeping Pamela out of the wed hand,
Mixing Cheney and beer’d fire,
Blurring old coots with wing’d game. (55)

Venal Dick Cheney, didn't abstain -- he
Got paranoid, pissed off and drunk.
When the war was less fun, he pulled out his gun,
And shot an old man like a skunk. (56)

He cradled his power as he lurched to the brush,
his ailing heart pounding, blood and alcohol arush.
Then an instant of motion, an explosion, no words....
and the quail laugh last at the King of all Turds. (57)

Some Lone Star brew and a Scotch or two in the glow of the dying sun . . .
Showing my girl I’m a man of the world with my fast Italian gun . . .
With a wet kiss from my Swiss Miss, and her hands upon my tush . . .
Then I shot some guy. But I'll tell you why -- all I saw was Bush. (58)

don't ask.
don't tell.
harry's shot?
oh, well. (59)

dick shot harry in the heart
does that make him cupid?
four days to get his story straight
no, it makes him stupid. (60)

Shall I compare thee to a flushing quail?
Thou art more orange and sport not a feather on thy head
Yet my drunken wits are rarely known to fail
So stand ye still, and I shall try to shoot thee dead. (61)

Harry Whittington, what a great guy
That's what his friends all say
But Deadeye Cheney sorta went crazy
And blew poor old Harry away (62)

February is the cruelest hunt,
Freeping P.P. Willeford out of the wed hand,
Mixing Cheney and beer’d fire,
Blurring old coots with wing’d game. (63)

Harry's shot, not sprayed or peppered
Dick's thought: "I'll have one shaken,
Not stirred." (64)

There once was a lass named Pam Willeford
Whose affections to Lynne's I prefer
But I went off half cocked, some old coot got rocked
And instead of tapping ass I shot a barrister (65)

Cheney shot him in the face
And FOX insists it's no disgrace (66)

With or without a gun in his hand,
The Veep is the most dangerous man in this land.
But the world wonders what the hell he is thinking,
When he shoots birds and old lawyers while drinking." (67)

Dead-Eye Dick is his name
He shot a lawyer in the face
Ruining America's image is his game
Cause this isn't even his 2nd biggest disgrace (68)

Cheney shot an austin lawyer with a 28 gauge
Now his street cred is through the roof
Then he surprised and admitted to shooting Tupac
Even though there was no proof (69)

Cheney shot an austin lawyer with a 28 gauge
Now his street cred is through the roof
Then he surprised and admitted to shooting Tupac
Even though there was no proof (70)

Vice was gunning for young quail
but he just peppered an old bird (71)

In the bursh, Dick tossed his tenth emptied can,
Then on the trigger, a finger wet with condensation on his hand,
Wheel'd round and "Blammo!" Harry's face full of ammo,
He'd be in jail right now, if he was poor and mexican. (72)

I'm commander in chief
and Harry is a thief
Stealing my kill
Sent me over the hill (73)

Two old boys in the settin sun
one said "Dick"
and the other went "Bam" (74)

Nope. (75)

When Jane and Redd challenged the doggies
To find poesy 'mongst horrors most lame,
The FDL bards outdid all of the bloggies
And howled through the night, but where's Plame? (76)

Na Na Na Na Naaa
We get away with murder
NaNa Na Na Naaa (77)

There once was a veep named Cheney, whose breaking of laws were many
when hunting some quail
his judgement did fail
but his aim was still quite uncanny (78)

see dick.
see dick shoot.
see america going to hell in a handbasket.
they don't call him dick for nuttin.(79)

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Blam! (80)

Two hundred BB's
split second karma soft flesh
a tower crumbles (81)

If he had a snort, the cops must report. (82)

The sun was low
The ground was red
The spin exploded
The facts all fled (83)

Now this is a short hunting tale
of Dick and the mighty quail.
Halfcocked but he could not fail
to safe face; there, beyond the pale. (84)

If Dick had a beer, the shooting was queer (88)

I've got Billy Idol's lip in reverse,
My gay daughter is kind of a curse,
So come hunting with me, there's a spot now that's free,
The last one went home in a hearse. (89)

Liquored up real good
Blasting birdies to pieces
Harry made me miss (90)

You taught me how to hunt, and so I mentored my son.
You saw God in the hunt but never convinced me.
You said “Texans respect the hunt, son, they do.”
You felt weird about all that near the end, though. (91)

So stalks the stealthy hunter in the field.
Tip-toed, quietly he marks his prey
and fires but the consequence is dire -
a bloodied lawyer lies in place of Quaile. (92)

Dirty Dick
Didn't make Harry's day
When Harry met salvo
Down Texas way (94)

The truth could not be blunter
Blame the victim, not the hunter
Drink, then shoot a friend in the face
Darth Cheney you're a national disgrace (95)

Satan wears a bracelet What Would Cheny Do (96)

Now this is a short hunting tale
of Dick and the mighty quail.
Halfcocked but he could not fail
to save face; there, beyond the pale. (97)

Four score and seven beers ago...
BLAM!!! (98)

Conscripted victims
Parade their blood before me,
A numb heart devoid (99)

OK, you say you're calm, just don't pull a Cheney... (100)

In Ciro news, Cuellar sure loves him some Bush. And MoveOn jumped in to support Ciro, he's certainly gaining momentum. You can contribute to the boot the DINOS from the Democratic Party movement here

(graphic by Dark Black)