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Friday, December 16, 2005

Oh the Injustice



Keenly spotting a vacuum in the Tammy Faye Baker 1986 Contempo Casual fashion niche no one else was aware of, the rode-hard-and-put-up-wet wife of Mets Pitcher Kris Benson is now opining on the aesthetics of Michael Moore and displaying a a finely nuanced reading of Kant, I believe:
"...Forget about how un-American you are, how politically retarded you are, or how fat you look while slobbering your political garbage all over everyone, mainly, I despise you for the fact that you make money off of influencing the young minds of America to be Bush-haters."

[snip]

"You are a selfish, pathetic excuse for an American, and you can take your big fat ass over to Iraq and get your pig head cut off and stuck on a pig pole. Then, you can have your equally as fat wife make a documentary about how loudly you squealed while terrorists were cutting through all the blubber and chins to..."
Could Anna Benson's strip mall perm be all in a tangle because the ungrateful Mets are trading her?
"We would never, ever have signed with New York if they had said they were going to trade us," said Anna Benson, 29. "I was Miss [Politically Correct] for the Mets the entire time I was there.
I don't really follow baseball so I wasn't aware the Mets had entered the pole dancing business, but be that as it may why would Fox News sign cranky, cadaverous old Robert Novak to a contract when such an obvious source of understated political wisdom goes begging?

(via Wolcott)

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